Oh Hello, World!

I'm ready to write.

As my dear friend Jamie-kins mentioned in her first post, I'm Susie and I'm really introspective.  Hold on to your hats.  We about to get deep. 

This year, 2015, the year I turned 30, has been a year of transformation, for me.  I experienced the worst anxiety I've ever had and then came out on the other side.  I got fired for the first time.  I joined a training program to become a life coach cause I sensed it would be an adventure, even though I felt I sucked hard at life.  

I've learned a hell of a lot, and as I step into a new way of being, I only see the learning and growth continuing. 

In addition to all of this, I literally just had an incredibly powerful journaling session.  I'm starting to finally trust my intuition, the voice that just KNOWS, and I let her spill.  By the time I was done, I had developed the awareness that the only thing holding me back from the life that I want - the money, the coaching clients, the love, the creative fulfillment, is the belief that people owe me something. 

 

I decided to accept that no one in my life owes me anything and that all of the pain and hurt I've felt in my life was 100% perceived - AKA...not real.  No one has done anything TO me.

Accepting this means truly knowing that others have no bearing on my experience.  Our minds create our world.  What people think of me literally means nothing. 

Accepting this means there's no reason to stall anymore.  I will create the clients now, I will create the money now, I will create the creative fulfillment.  "What people will say," the big fear that I felt was in my way - is no longer a factor.

I know all of this in my being, and I also know that I'm going to need support when I feel like reverting to my old ways of thinking.

But I know that as long as I keep journaling, I will remain in touch with my intuitive voice.  The voice that knows.  The voice that I believe is guided by the other side.  I will stay in touch with it so that I can continue to access this new way of being and finally step into my POWER.

The other thing I became aware of tonight in my journaling is that I am finally starting to align with my true energetic vibration.  Deep down I have always know that I come from magic, wonder, and possibility.  It's why I have always felt so out-of-sync with the mundaneness of life that I was taught is real.  

I've been lucky enough to meet a lot of people this year that also come from magic, wonder and possibility.  My people.  I'm finally starting to align energetically with the people around me.

I feel some fear creeping in, but that's because this is the unknown.  Seeing so much light and power and joy on the horizon is definitely foreign and overwhelming.  But I want it.

Not bad to have had such a breakthrough in awareness on Thanksgiving Day!

Happy Turkey Day, y'all.